I’m not the first to say this, and I won’t be the last: I don’t like writing; I like having written. It’s a strange way to live, as someone who wants to be a professional writer. But it describes my feelings about it perfectly.

I fully recognize that I am blessed to have a series published. It surely helps with the motivation to sit down and do the work I don’t really like to do, because I like the end result so much. I know for new writers, they might not have even this. And the real rub is you have to write in order to have written.

The hardest hurdle for me is the fact that there are no guarantees when it comes to my writing. Writing takes so much time, brain power, and soul, and there is a good chance that it is all for naught. I may never sign with an agent. Even if I sign with an agent, a publisher may never choose to publish the story that I have spent possibly hundreds of hours on. And yet, if I want even the possibility of the best case scenario, I have to write. I have to take the risk that all of my work is for nothing.

Do It Anyway

I often think of this little gem you can find floating around on Pinterest. It always kicks me in the gut. When I interact with my kids, I want the result to be positive. And if it’s not going to be positive, then I don’t feel like doing it. It’s the same as I think about our society. Sometimes I want to hide away, because people are not always going to react to what I say or do in the way that I want them to. They respond with their own thoughts, and sometimes those thoughts are ugly or mean. But I must carry on anyway.

And if I want to be a writer, then I must do it anyway. Even if no one wants to buy it. Even if no one wants to jump on my team. I’m not a writer if I don’t write, and I believe in my heart that God has called me to write.

The point is, I have to do it anyway. No matter what anyone else does. It’s the hardest hurdle for me. But I’m going to suck it up and jump over it anyway.

I love roller coasters. At least, I used to. I don’t think I’ve been on one since our family vacation to California in 2003. (Oh, adulthood.) But I love the rush. I love the sound of the harnesses as they clank into place, and the click-clack of the wheels as the car gets pulled up to the pinnacle. I love the speed and the wind in my hair and going upside down.

I do not love emotional roller coasters. I’d like my emotions to rise and fall in a gentle, easing manner. No sudden peaks or dips, thank you.

No one told me what an emotional roller coaster the writing life would be. Most of the time, the writer’s life is completely humdrum. There is not much going on. You’re waiting and writing and waiting some more.

Then, when you least expect it, a giant high comes. You’re skyrocketed into elation with the request of materials from someone or by the sight of your cover art. You are quite literally the king of the world.

And that feeling lasts a day. Maybe two at most. You look around and realize that everyone else who liked your post about it has gone back to their own life, and you’re left still smiling all by yourself. You shove your hands back in your pockets so you won’t look like Tom Brady getting shunned from getting a high five. Then you’re back on plain, smooth, boring road of waiting and writing.

And sometimes, out of nowhere, you get the dreaded No email. Your day was going fine, until you see the words, “Thank you, but at this time…” You get the free-falling feeling in your stomach as the bottom drops out. This feeling always lasts longer than the high feeling, unless something comes along to sweep you back into the high. Otherwise you free fall until you wake up a few days later and realize you aren’t falling anymore. Then it’s a slow climb back up the the plain, boring road of waiting and writing.

This is the journey a writer must embrace. Does it sound like it’s bad news? Here’s why it’s not: every single writer has gone through it. You’re not alone. It’s a right of passage.

So grab a brown bag, if you’re prone to motion-sickness. We’re writers. It’s what we do. It’s what we’ve wanted to do our whole lives.

Enjoy the ride.

These are amazing times we live in, with so much information instantly available at our fingertips. The other day I had an immediate need to know if there are ever tornadoes in the winter. It took me less than two minutes to find out that while they’re not common, there are sometimes tornadoes in the winter in Oklahoma. I needed this information, and I got it.

There’s always a downside of the instant information, though. You can instantly read about other’s successes and instantly know the areas you are not up to standard. Innocent research can lead you to believe that you are missing the mark, by a little or by a lot.

These moments are Make It or Break It moments. They are forks in the road, and you’ll have to choose whether to take the smooth path of Giving Up or the hard, rocky path of Pressing On. And I get it; you’re so tired. You’ve been working for so long and here you are again at the fork, and the Pressing On path looks even harder and more treacherous than the path you climbed to even get to this fork.

I’m tired today, too. Will this be worth it? I have no idea. If only I could take just a little peek into the future to know if I made it or not.

Here’s the thing I keep telling myself: I’m in a marathon, not a sprint. This whole writing career takes time. So. Much. Time. And I can’t count the years I was just thinking about writing. I can only start the clock at when I actually started writing. Which means I am still at the very beginning of my journey. The long, twisty, rocky journey that takes time.

I am easily fooled into believing I made a wrong turn somewhere, just because I see someone else has had some success. The problem is, I didn’t see the road they took to get there. It was probably just as long as mine, and they probably started way sooner than I did. I am constantly catching myself comparing my beginning to someone else’s middle, and that is a career-killer, my friend.

So this is how I survive the long, slow road: I remember that it is long and slow for everyone, not just me. I remember that each step is important, because I’m learning new things and I’m building new muscles with every step. And I remember that I’ll need all that knowledge and strength when I get to where that person is, so I can handle the weight without it crushing me.

And I’ll bookmark this post to read again and again, so I can practice what I preach.

Keep on keeping on, friend.

I’ll give you a few minutes to uncurl out of the fetal position. I apologize for not labeling that title with a trigger warning.

The fear of rejection is probably what keeps most writers from writing. You would think that a writer would just write anyway and not send it out if they feared rejection, but that’s not the case. The thought of rejection is paralyzing. For years I kept my first book Soprano Trouble tucked away in a forgotten folder on my computer because of the fear of rejection. I know the feeling all too well.

I’m not sure that anyone ever gets to the point where a rejection doesn’t sting at all. They just get to the point where they can cope and move on. Take heart. It is possible. Here are seven ways to help you cope:

1. Fizzy Drinks

Never underestimate the power of a sweet, bubbly drink. Those fizzies are as pleasing to the ear as they are to the palate. Let the carbonation soothe your bruised soul as the bubbles carry away your sorrow. My latest fizzy drink of choice is Sparkling Ice Lemonade.

2. Fishing for Compliments

This is generally frowned upon in most areas of life, but a writer needs a good tribe of friends who won’t hesitate to boost them up with compliments on the heels of a rejection. When someone has said “Thanks, but no thanks,” a round of “we love you, you’re the best” is as calming as aloe vera is to a sunburn.

3. Meme Wars

This is generally carried out by your tribe online. Simply post your need, then laugh as your friends post the funniest memes they can find. This is actually a Biblical concept. You can find it right in Proverbs 17:22 – “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

4. Ice Cream

Turn those rejections into a celebration with an ice cream treat each time one comes in. If an agent or editor or publisher is going to reject your work without even discussing your full vision with you, then that was not going to be the right fit anyway. You can celebrate the fact that you know for sure that that person is not the right one to help you with your career.

5. A Reminder

It’s up to you how you want this reminder to look. You can put a post-it note on your mirror. You can put a reminder in your phone to alert you every day. You could hire an artist to paint it on a pallet and hang it on your wall. But make sure your reminder says this: God’s love for you is complete. He will not love you more if you are successful. He will not love you less if you fail. He wholly and completely loves YOU.

And really, it’s the reminder that helps me move on from the rejections I’ve faced. And it will help me move on from the ones that are sure to come. Because that’s a writer’s life.

You can do it.

How do you cope with rejection?

There is a dirty secret about being an author that no one ever talks about. I’m here to blast it to the world today.

Being an author involves a lot of waiting. A lot. You’ll get the incredible high of getting that contract, or seeing your cover art, or holding your book, or reading a review, but those things last for moments. Maybe a day, for the big milestones. Then you’re back to waiting. If it were up to you, things would move along at a steady pace. But so much of the publishing world is not up to you.

This has been one of the most surprising things to me about being an author. I have dreamed of writing my whole life, but I never dreamed there would be so much waiting. Some days I don’t use the waiting time well, to be honest. I sit and stare at my computer, waiting for something to happen. Then the day is over and I have nothing to show for it.

But if you want a career in writing, you have to get used to it. You have to find things to do while you wait. They say that success is a great motivator, but you can’t wait for the motivation of success. You have to keep working. In light of that, here are some things you can do while you wait for that next step in your writing career, whatever that may be.

Write

This seems like a given, but it’s the hardest thing to do. You want to know if what you’ve already written is going to gain some traction, but honestly you can’t wait for that. Because it may or it may not. If it does, you want to have something ready to go for the next thing. If it doesn’t, you want to have your next project going or ready, the one that might be the one to gain speed.

Read

Read in your genre. You might be surprised at the inspiration that comes from reading other works in the same genre that you want to write. Read books about marketing and platform building, because those are crazy important for writers. They are often the areas where authors are the most weak. Learn all you can so you know how to catapult your story beyond what the publisher will do for you.

Tinker

Tinker with your website. Look around at other websites and find what you like about them, then use that information to enhance yours. (Of course, this assumes you have a website. If you don’t, then change this step to Build a Website and move it to the top of the list.)

Embrace the waiting. It is almost as big a part of a writing career as the story itself. What would you do while you wait? Let me know!